


Masquerading As A Man With A Reason

by teriteriteriteri



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU Where Simon Breaks Up With Baz At The Beginning of Wayward Son, M/M, Partial Re-Write of Wayward Son, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:36:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27872405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teriteriteriteri/pseuds/teriteriteriteri
Summary: Simon Snow is no longer the chosen one, but his boyfriend remains the man described in legend. And Simon knows Baz would never break his honor by dumping him, so he'll have to do it himself. Only, he doesn't know Penny had a week-long cross-continental holiday planned for the three of them...AU where Simon breaks up with Baz before Penny is able to storm in, but Baz comes with them anyways.
Relationships: Snowbaz - Relationship, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. The Break-Up

**Author's Note:**

> Major Spoiler Alert!  
> If you have NOT read Wayward Son then do not read any further, this work will continue many spoilers, big and small, for the Carry On series!

> I swallow. “When someone shows you who they are--”

**Simon**

“-- you listen.” My voice is barely above a whisper.

“What?” Baz steps inside the door, shutting it behind him with his foot. 

“When someone sho-” I started. 

“No, don’t repeat it, Snow.” Baz interrupted me, “Why are you quoting Maya Angelou at me?” 

“I- I just think,” I can feel my eyes watering and my throat about to close. I blink the tears away. I just wish he would break up with me instead, I’m nobody, it doesn’t even feel _right_ trying to break up with him. 

Baz closes the distance between us, sitting next to me on the sofa. I don’t remember the last time he actually sat next to me. Then he rests his hand on my thigh, lightly squeezing it (I think I might explode), “Simon…” 

“You deserve better.” I nearly choke, turning my face away from him so he doesn’t see my tears. 

**Baz**

Simon Snow is breaking up with me. On his disgusting sofa. Right before exams. 

“Are -” I stop. Red, hot anger flashes through me, I feel my fangs drop and I struggle against them. “Are you breaking up with me?” 

Simon can barely look at me, I catch his eyes dart between my eyes and my fangs. I run my hands roughly through my hair, tugging at the ends. 

“Simon.” I try again, attempting to calm myself down. I reach out to him again, cupping his elbow I turn him towards me. I grab his face, cupping his strong jaw in my hand. 

“I know you won’t break up with me!” He tries to look down, but I lift his head back up, forcing his eyes back to mine. “You haven’t even touched me like this in months!” He spits out at me, his voice filling with rage. 

My own waning anger rises again, “Because you don’t DO ANYTHING, Snow!” I drop my hand from his face and stand, “All you do is drink cider and feel sorry for yourself!” I gesture around the room, picking up a can of cider from the center table and throwing it against the wall. 

Snow leaps up at this, his wings stretching out in what I can only describe as a defense mechanism. “There’s nothing for me here! You and Penny go on treating me like a fucking charity case, you can’t even look at me! When’s the last time you even kissed me?” He pushed me backwards, or tried to anyways, his palms hitting the center of my chest. 

**Simon**

I pushed against Baz, expecting him to fly back, but for a moment I forgot he was indeed a super-human-strengthened vampire… 

I expect him to push me back, or worse, but instead he grabs me by the face and smashes his cold lips against me. For a moment I am frozen, until I remember the way he looks at me when I’m not screaming in his face. I can’t do this. 

I grab his face back, cupping his jaw-line, and push him away, “Baz…” I breathe, and rest my forehead against his. I am so, so weak. 

“Simon…” His warm breath tickles my lips as he speaks right against me, “Don’t do this, Simon, please. I’ve loved you for so long, it won’t always be this way.” Baz chokes back tears, and I tear up as well. 

“Baz I can’t do this, you don’t love _me_ !” I step back further, I need to be away from him, “You love who I _was_! That Simon, the Chosen One, the prophecy, he is GONE!” 

Baz steps forward, closing the distance between us again, he tries to grab my wrists, but I yank them away from his grasp. “I do love _you_ , Simon! I don’t care that you lost your magic, you’re still the same wanker I fell in love with, you -- you’re just not combustible anymore!

“Baz--” I start to say, before Penny bursts through the door. 

“I’ve got it!” Penny nearly screams, slamming the door behind her and tossing her backpack down. “Seriously, hear me out on this one,” she says, mostly talking to herself as she kicks her shoes off, tucking a piece of her wild hair behind her ear. 

She turns to Baz and I, really seeing us, and seems to register the tension in the room. “Is this a bad time?” 

  
  


**Baz**

“No.” I answer Bunce at the same time Snow says, _‘Yes!’_

Bunce quickly looks between us for a second before deciding to ignore us entirely, “I’ve _got_ a solution, guys!” She says, putting emphasis on the word _got_. 

I look back at Snow again before sighing and sinking down onto the sofa. “What do you _got_ , Bunce?” I mock her tone and intonation bitterly. 

“A holiday!--” she stops further inside the flat and sits in front of the center table, tucking her legs under herself, “for all of us!” she points to me, then Simon, and then at herself. “Seriously! We are going to America!” 

“No!” Snow beat me to it. “Seriously Penny, we’re in the middle of something here!” He gestured awkwardly between us. 

Bunce looked at me, then at Snow, then at me again, her eyes wide. “Oh--” She stood up, and quickly went back to her room without another word. 

Sometimes I actually like Bunce, she doesn’t pry and she doesn’t hover - well at least over me. I think that she is still afraid I might eat her if she pisses me off too much. But with her gone now I have to continue this break up with Snow. I can’t convince him that I love him. 

I’ve known that I’ve loved him since our 5th Year, he’s all I can think about, even when I can’t look at him or touch him. I just thought he didn’t want that or that he wasn’t ready, like that time we almost had sex; like me being around him was too much stimulation, and he needed time alone because he kept pushing me away. And now I feel ridiculous because I don’t know how to love him openly. 

**Simon**

“Baz, I think you should leave.” Is what I finally manage, after a long, unbearable minute of us both staring at each other. 

Baz gets up and leaves without looking back. 

I thought that being with him would be easy, or maybe easier. I already spent all my time thinking about, plotting about him, and I thought I finally understood why it was _him_ that I was obsessed with. But I was wrong. It wasn’t easy. 

Baz was, is, too perfect. Staring into his gorgeous eyes made my knees weak, and his touch sent me out of this world. But I also felt like I was walking on eggshells around him, like any second this new reality would snap and we would go back to trying to kill each other again. Sometimes when I looked at him I felt like I loved him so much, was so infatuated with him, that I hated him. Like I hate him for the way he looks at me now with pity instead of longing, or I hated him when we were in public and all eyes were on him. And no one would even think we were friends, let alone dating. Baz was a legend, dressed in perfect silk. 

I laid down on the sofa, wrapping myself in my wings. I wasn’t sure if I should cry or not, or if I could even stop myself from crying if I did start. So I turned on the telly. 

  
  



	2. The Airport & (Over) The Atlantic

**Baz**

I waited until after I got home, after I drank, to call Penny. She picked up on the first ring. 

“Basil,” Penny whispered, I heard a door shut in the background. 

“How are we doing this?” I asked, “This _holiday_?” 

**Penny**

We are still doing this, of course we are! I tried to explain to Simon that Agatha is in trouble, I just know she is, but he wouldn’t even talk to me! And Baz! Merlin, Baz didn’t even really care about anything I had to say about Agatha, he just wants to use this trip to get back together with Simon. 

Which, I don’t care! Something has to be done about Simon, and I know that Baz loves him, Baz has been trying, and failing, to help Simon do things other than lounge on the couch and drink those ciders. 

But to have Simon in one piece is not enough, which is why we’re going on holiday. Simon in one piece, with his extra pieces, is still broken. And I for one want to actually enjoy my teen years, especially now that the Humdrum is defeated and my life isn’t threatened by goblins and vampires (minus Baz) everyday. And _I_ haven’t gone off the deep end, become addicted to ciders, or _fucked off to California without my magick ring!_

And Agatha still hasn’t called me back! 

**Agatha**

Ginger leans in closer to me, her curls still dripping sea water everywhere. She laughs and her voice is like bells. I wish I could kiss her, I wish I wanted to kiss her. 

Or even wanted anyone after Simon Snow. 

Ginger catches me in my thoughts and cocks her head to the side, silently questioning me. For a second I think she might actually kiss me! She leans in, eyes closed… 

My phone buzzes loudly between us, and the moment is ruined. Ginger laughs awkwardly before getting up to towel her hair dry. 

I do not call Penny back. 

**Baz**

Bunce assures me, and reassures me, that she _and_ Simon will meet me at the airport. 

Although I don’t allow myself to believe her until I see him. He is still as gorgeous as he was a year ago, _when he was mine_ , I think bitterly. 

Usually when Bunce magicks his wings and his tail they’re just invisible, but there’s always a shimmer in the air around him, but today as I step closer I see nothing. There’s a slit down his back, where his wings would be, and I reach out to rest my palm against his shoulder blades… 

Simon turns around and I awkwardly pat his shoulder instead. He’s wearing Wellbelove’s old “Watford Lacrosse” sweatshirt and I curse myself for not leaving behind my old “Watford Football” paraphernalia; Snow will wear anything he picks up off his bedroom floor. I wonder if he would wear my clothes now though. 

“Snow.” I say awkwardly, I just feel like I need to say something to him. 

“Baz.” He says while pulling nervously at his hair. I think maybe he sounds sad, or maybe I just want him to sound sad when he says my name. 

**Simon**

Baz looks amazing. He always does, he’s so confident, even when he wears sweats he’s a model. 

“Where’s Penny?” He asks.

“She’s checking us in or something. She told you how she got the tickets, right?” 

Baz chuckles lightly, “Yeah, she magicked them.” 

I laugh awkwardly too, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah.” I agree. 

Honestly I’m scared about Baz, my future, but, most pressing, this holiday. I don’t have a passport, Merlin, I don’t even have a license! I have no idea if this stolen passport Penny magicked for me will even work, or if they’ll hold me for questioning at the airport in America or something like a terrorist… 

But when I look at Baz it feels like nothing has changed. 

“I didn’t have a passport. She had to steal that too, she magicked someone else’s for me…” I tried laughing, trying to ease the tension I’m creating. 

**Baz**

Bunce is one clever, clever magician. A clever magician who will never see the light of day after this… 

We know she used magic to buy our plane tickets. It’s our _one_ law in the World of Mages - no magickal counterfeiting. We can’t mess with the Normal’s economy and use magic for money, the world might actually burn down. I hope the spark doesn’t start with Bunce’s renegade plane-ticket counterfeiting, especially with her mother on the Coven… 

“She knows her mom will gladly turn her over to the rest of the Coven, right?” I ask, only kind of joking. 

But Snow seems too anxious to joke though, “Do you think we’ll be caught?” 

I reach out again, but this time I reach for his hand and squeeze it lightly, “No.” I say firmly, but he still looks worried. “Hey, it will be fine. If someone seems suspicious I’ll just distract them by being a vampire.” I wink as I said ‘vampire.’ 

Snow doesn’t pull away from me, he actually smiles back at me first. Then he pulls his hand away, “Speaking of…” he trails off, tucking his hand into his pocket. Hand-holding is off limits then. 

“I’ll be fine, Snow. It’s only eight hours, I promise not to lose control over my _bloodlust_ on some innocent passenger.” I emphasized _bloodlust_ so hopefully he would understand how ridiculous it was. 

Simon stepped closer, nearly whispering in my ear, “What about when we get there?” 

I blush slightly, trying to hide how much I enjoy, how much I crave, just to be close to him. “I’ve actually heard America is overrun with rats and other mammals, grizzly bears… show dogs.” I try and act cool, unbothered. 

He smiles at that. And chuckles slightly! I could look at him, like this, forever. I throw my arm over his shoulder, resisting the urge to pull him into a hug, this will have to do. He doesn’t pull away, not yet. Moments like these, just holding him, especially in public are rare and I want to savor the moment, until I see a woman staring at us. She eyes us, our proximity, I don’t care. I glare back at her like I’m saying _yes we’re gay_ , hoping she’ll move along before Simon sees her.

He does though. Simon cares. He cares about being perceived as gay. As he moves away from me, to mess with his old duffle bag - the same one he came to Watford with years ago. 

As he moves away, picking up his bag and throwing it over his shoulder - _trying to remain casual_ \- I am reminded of our differences. Simon came to his sexuality, whatever it is, very suddenly. He still feels out of place on both sides, while I’ve always belonged to the queer side. 

And not only is he kind of gay, he’s stuck with those wings, and the tail. 

I still don’t know why he gave himself the tail…

**Penny**

As I approached Simon and Baz with our boarding passes I could sense their tension, anybody could. They’re standing 3 feet apart, torn between staring at each other and the floor…

“It’s real!” I try, handing them their respective boarding passes. 

Simon actually smiles, “I’m actually a little nervous, I’ve never flown before.” 

Baz looks at him and laughs. 

“In a plane!” He specifies defensively. 

“It’ll be fine, but if it isn’t, like say the engine dies, can you at least try and save me after you get done rescuing Bunce?” Baz jokes, he’s trying to get Simon to let his guard down again. Not that I would go for the whole engine-dying-joke, but maybe that’s why Simon was into him in the first place…

Simon’s face falls (okay, maybe not), “Does that happen? Will the plane just die?” He looks between Baz and I. 

I elbow Baz before moving closer to Simon, reaching up to throw my arm over his shoulder, “It won’t - but hey if it does, remember who’s paying for the vacation and save me first!” 

Simon scoffs, “First, no one is even paying for this trip - except maybe the man whose passport you stole…And if the plane goes down you and Baz better magic it back up.” 

Baz laughs, a little more heartily now, “I haven’t been practicing my engine-preserving-spells lately, have you, Bunce?” 

“Hey don’t look at me!” I laugh, “I was banking on Simon saving me!” 

“I’m saving the women and children first!” Says Simon, spoken like a true Chosen One. 

“Technically you won’t have wings…” Baz teases. 

This trip might actually work! Simon already looks better and we haven’t even left Britain yet. 

This change of scenery idea might even save Simon and Baz...

**Simon**

I expected them to stop me by now, to ask to pat down my tail, or question if my wings could fold in to leave room for other passengers… 

But they’re really, really gone. 

I push myself all the way into my seat, pressing my back flat against a surface for the first time in weeks… And once I'm allowed to, I practically sprint to the tiny, airplane restroom, locking the door behind me. I lift my shirt to examine my back, where my wings should be. There’s nothing there, except a few sparse freckles. 

Once back in my seat, I simply lean back and listen to Penny and Baz argue over first class, economy, and “keeping a low profile.” I am jammed between the two of them, but I don’t mind. _This is what normal people do_ , I tell myself. I sneak a glance at Baz, who looks like he might lose it on the woman next to him, slowly colonizing Baz’s armrest. I pull him closer to me, _at least she’s wearing a cross_ … 

**Baz**

Simon Snow falls asleep against my chest somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. 

_Maybe he forgot he dumped me_ , I hope. 


End file.
